I am deep in the midst of a home renovation. You see, Jason and I had a battle of wills and apparently my will was not strongest on this topic. I wanted to hire someone to do it. He wanted to do it himself. So he is. ‘What is it?’ you might ask. We’re in the middle of a Pergo floor laying down… thingie.

It all started innocently enough. We bought some samples.. selected the one we liked and then Lowes up and dumped that color. So we picked something else (and I’m happy with our selection) and then 29 boxes of it ended up in our basement. I’m not quite sure how he talked me into allowing us to do it, but we are.

Currently, most of the carpet is ripped up, some of the vinyl in the kitchen is ripped up and some of the floor is laid in the dining room/living room/never ending double wide hallway.

Thankfully a few of our close friends have volunteered to assist with the process (and they’ve done it before so they know what they’re doing!) and all should go smoothly.

I, however, will not participating much in this process. Oh sure, I removed staples from the subfloor and cut up some of the carpet but the actual laying of the Pergo? I want no part of that and the thought of it makes me semi anxious.

Thankfully, Jason agreed with me and has exiled me to the deck until further notice where I plan to create an oasis with the tropical plants I purchased at Home Depo this afternoon and as many margaritas as I can drink without throwing up. I figure if I’m drunk enough any mistake or mishap will roll off me like water on a duck.

I am truly in awe that Jason, who has never laid Pergo before, can read a few directions and can just start using power tools and saws and create a beautiful masterpiece. Everyone has limitations… and I know that I am not capable of doing what he’s undertaking. I work with mediums that I can easily correct; yarn and paint. If I fuck up some crochet or knitting I can (in most cases and with the assistance of experienced knitters!) undo what I fucked up and redo it correctly. With painting I just put more paint on the canvas until I see what it is I want to see. Doing things that are very final.. like cutting floor boards scares the dickens out of me.

I think it’s because I hate to mess up. I’m a Virgo.. I need order (at least an order that my mind calls order). I need exactness. I feel like I have to know exactly what it is I’m doing or I can’t do it unless I know I can pull a string or slap some more on to undo it.

I give kudos to those that are able to throw caution to the wind and live in the moment.

Due to finals preparation and general lack of interest cleaning has been suspended until further notice. You pretend cat sized dust balls don’t exist. The company you have over pretends with you.

Last month I read a blog post at Mark’s Daily Apple about pretending to be a person that already does or possesses the quality you wish you had.

For some reason that post really struck a chord with me. For me, I often find that I spend time reading, wishing and planning and never actually getting around to doing.

That changed after I read that article. Why couldn’t I pretend to be the person that I wanted to be? I love being imaginative and I’m also gullable enough that it might just work!

I decided to keep it mildly simple. I would run around two miles five days out of seven. I would drink at least two sigg bottles of water a day( I shot for one in the morning and one in the afternoon). I would eat more vegetables. doesn’t sound too horrible right?

The next step was to do it. I opted not to really say much to anyone about it even though a lot of websites tell you to be accountable to someone. I decided it didn’t matter if I failed on any particular day since I was going for an overall goal of thirty days. There were days I skipped and that was ok with me.

I would say that I was able to accomplish 85% of my goal. Some days I didn’t drink as much water as I’d have liked and some days I skipped veggies.

Overall what it proved to me was that I can do the things that I want and form the habits that I want if I take each day at a time. I took steps to make sure it happened. I ran directly after work. I joined the office water club so that I’d have a never ending supply of cold, filtered water available to me during the day. I planned more meals around vegetables or took the time to prepare salads for lunch.

I’m still not at my ideal place with that goal, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to live like I wanted without any guilt or fear of failure. In that, I succeeded.

I can’t wait to see what the next thirty days brings me.

it should really be illegal to be inside for class on a day like today. Though it’s a little chilly today, who could pass up a blue sky like that??