I’ve been thinking about it a lot the last few days. I feel like it’s a rerun of an over played Nike advertisement. Just do it.

It’s so easy to get lost in the day dreams. The happy visions of auto bill pay that you don’t have to track. The checking accounts that you really don’t need to balance for your day to day expenses to make sure every last penny is accounted for. The leisureness of it all.

And it’s so easy to just completely write yourself off before you even get started. To be your own worst critic. To tell yourself no. To tell yourself to be realistic; why wish when you know you can’t have what you want? I feel like this is a lesson I have to teach myself over and over again.

I’ve been thibking of all of these things because I have been doing all these things. I have a very clear (but vague) picture of where I want to be. It may involve exaggeration as to how successful I can be, but it’s my dream right? Why settle?

And that is really what I have been doing. Settling. Telling my self that I can’t instead of I can. Not bothering to try because what is the point? I’ll never get to where I want to be.

That’s the thing about vacations. They give you way too much time to think. That can be a bad thing ( if we have to be negative) or it can be a huge incentive. Especially at this time of year. New year’s resolutions and all that.

It’s so much easier to complain about being unhappy than to do something about it. Why is that?

So here’s the thing. I’m done. I’m done being the butt monkey. I’m done being the office bitch. I’m done taking classes to get a degree to do what with? Life is far too short to waste it wearing a tie. Why not change it now? Why start listening to the nos now? I never have before.

A new year is about to start and when it does, I’m going to grab it by the horns and make it do my bidding. The time is now. Why wait? I can no longer just sit back and wait for dreams to happen, I have to make and force them to fruition. I am going to finish everything I have started ( including that degree… In a few years).

I’m going to be a force to be reckoned with. I’m going to be a tidal wave. I will blaze like a wildfire. I’m going to be everything I’ve ever wanted to be.

You’ve been warned.

After today I’m venturing forth to the land of sun and sand and oranges. I’m off to sunny Florida and I shant be back until next year! Blog posts may be sporattic and/or completely not here at all. I will try my hardest to post something now and then but nothing consistant can be promised.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful holiday and a happy new year.

I’ll see you on the flip side!

I finished reading the first Twilight book today. I was very pleased. It was a really awesome book and I can’t wait to see how the story continues.

In other news, spammers are bad. I’ve had several days where I have to delete upwards of 400+ comments on some entries. They’re all about the same thing so I figured I’d be nice and save them the time and effort to put in 400+ gibberish type comments up and therefore save ME time in deleting them all.

They (whomever they are) are selling Tramadol. It’s cheap. It’s from Mexico and they WILL ship it to Florida.

Now I had no idea what the hell Tramadol is so I looked it up on Wikipedia (my favorite stupid fact resource. I swear I read wiki like every day about something or other that has me curious.. I obviously have no life.) and it’s a pain killer used to treat moderate to severe pain (so you know it’s “the good stuff”) such as trigeminal neuralgia (kinda creepy as this hit close to home). Apparently this wonder drug can also help alleviate symptoms of depression  and axiety, though health professionals have yet to endorse it. Personally, if I’m looped up on pain meds, I don’t know how depressed or anxious I would be so I’d have to say it works, but who am I?

So if you need your cheap mexican Tramadol shipped to Florida, just know that there is a source out there for your drug needs.

After one evening of reading (and a lunch hour) I’m well over half way through Twilight. It’s one of the most addictive books I’ve ever read. It’s like crack but without the weight loss and/or death.

In other news, I’ve read two posts on other blogs (Over here at Not a Girl, Not Yet A Wino and over here at Sunday Undies) about how some bloggers portray a sense of pearls and heels and everything being, as my very own mother would tell you, Fine - with a capital F. Everything is fine, in fact it’s not just fine it’s fucking amazing and while everything is being all glowly with the F bombs, the floors got cleaned, a cake (from scratch) was baked and the Christmas Cards for next year? Purchased, Stamped (with forever stamps mind you) and ready to write out.

It got me to thinking (which is never good) about those types of blogs. I’ve read them. You’ve probably read them too. It makes me a bit envious, I won’t lie. The thing about blogging is it lets you into someone else’s life briefly. You get a little window into their world which is amazing. You get to see how other people live, their fears, their likes, their dislikes, their creativity.. It’s a truly awesome thing.

But I wonder.. Are those people’s lives really that spectacular or are they trying to be more spectacular than they really are for our benefit or for theirs? I often find myself faced with some sort of dumbass situation that I’ve created for myself and it’s usually less than glamorous, but I can joke about my misfortune (ie: going number 2 in the woods) and it can be funny to relate. Self deprocation and all that.

Do these perfect people poop in the woods if they have to? Do they fart? Sometimes it’s just nice to know that they have insects at their house too or that this one time their sewer main backed up as well and it was a god awful mess from hell that they had to clean up, just like I did.

The best part of reading other people’s blogs for me is the human connection.. even if I never interact with that person. They’ve taken the time to put themselves out there for the world (me!). It’s comforting to know that other people stumble and make complete asses out of themselves and they’re still able to function.